I posted this today on Craigslist; hopefully I'm not the only one who realizes I'm only half-serious. For a fun game to play at home, try to guess which half that is.


Aspiring Writer Seeks Aspiring Sugar Mama - 26

Reply to:
Date: 2006-05-16, 10:30PM CDT

Dear Girls and Women of Chicago (or other cities if you want to fly my soon-to-be broke ass out),

This week I took the bold step of quitting my job as a software engineer and leaving with it all the pay, benefits, and opportunity for advancement that comes along with it. I had a good run of it, even got promoted a couple times in my few years since joining the firm, but in the end realized I wasn't happy with it so I am going back to school for a Master's in Journalism.

Yes, that's right. I am walking away from a pretty sweet and quite well-paying gig in the hopes of making half of what I was making at 25 by the time I turn 30 in addition to being tens of thousands of dollars more in debt. Can you believe I'm single?

This in turn means I'll be broke and totally uncertain about my future for the next two to four years, and experience tells me that's going to render me pretty much undateable among women my age. Which is unfortunate, because I know some nice ones (and some nice ones who aren't my age as well). But women know what they like and I don't think that starving and unemployed is very high on that list.

So this is where you come in. These are modern times we live in and in the spirit of progress I want to volunteer myself as arm candy and designated party/dinner/wedding guest to any willing females out there.

"Who the hell is this guy?" you're asking. Well, here's what you're getting:

  • For starters, I'm educated and pretty smart. I have a bachelor's degree in management and business information systems from a fairly prestigious university.
  • I've travelled to the far corners of the world and have read a lot of books so I have a lot to talk about and can be more than just the stupid guy you shouldn't be bothering yourself to see.
  • I can play the piano and the guitar and will learn any song you want to hear.
  • I'm pretty funny. Or at least I've been told I am.
  • I'm also pretty good-looking...or (again) I've been told I am. Your picture gets mine.
  • I'm a hell of a writer, which means I can write things for about and to you. And who doesn't like that?

What I'm getting from you: Honestly not much. Take me out sometimes because I'm going to miss the nightlife I used to know. Give me a little encouragement. Be someone I can just have a good time with (it goes without saying that making out would be nice too, doesn't it?).

Otherwise I guess I'll just have to struggle and toil away in my apartment and let's face it, there are too many starving creative types in this city as it is. Do us all a favor and get me back out there!